FUCK YOU TOO PARIS HILTON!!!!

In author Neil Strauss’ new book Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead, he shares an anecdote about meeting an 18-year-old Paris Hilton who opens up to him about getting implants at 14 until her mom made her take them out, wanting to pose for Playboy and making out with Vin Diesel before realizing he’s some percent black. Via LA Weekly:

HILTON: I went out with that guy last night.
Which guy?
HILTON (points to an actor in Saving Private Ryan): We were making out, but then we went somewhere where it was bright and I saw that he was black and made an excuse and left. I can’t stand black guys. I would never touch one. It’s gross. (pauses). Does that guy look black to you?
How black does a guy have to be?
HILTON: One percent is enough for me.

I honestly can’t tell what stands out more here: The fact that the Hiltons apparently still own slaves, or the almost supernatural chameleon qualities of Vin Diesel’s ethnicity. Because seriously, what is that guy? It’s almost as if God took the body of Adonis and said, “And now you shall be above all stereotypes, but in return you’ll have to make a bunch of movies about cars that go ‘VROOM.’”

Look at this surfboard body having ass, boring ass porno making, valtrex poppin' ass bitch!!!